whew

-Passing my examination! It was a very challenging hour-and-a-half, but knowing that Marie was behind me (literally and figuratively) praying the whole time made all the difference. Marie is one of the pastors at my church and chair of the CPM, and she has been overwhelmingly supportive of me during this whole journey to ordination. She later told me that when they would throw me a really tough question or not really hear what I was trying to say, she would just pray harder. It worked, and I'm now cleared to preach before Presbytery and (hopefully) get approved there and then get ordained as a Mission Worker August 31.

-As soon as my exam was over in Houston, I drove to Mo Ranch to meet up with my family. We always get together at the end of July and enjoy a few days of soaking in the river, eating entirely too much food (much of it being the grilled variety), sharing stories of past experiences together and shuffling in one by one in the morning and getting a cup of delicious coffee. This time, when I arrived, I was pretty exhausted from a long drive and a grueling examination and it was all made better when I said hello to Natalie and she beamed at me with a smile of recognition.
-Moss-covered trees, looking like hairy monsters or underwater creatures. I know that the moss isn't great for the trees, but I like how it looks anyway.

-Light coming through the skylight in the living room. Where we stay at Mo has a wonderful common meeting room with incredibly high ceilings and comfy sofas.

-Sitting out on the dogrun and enjoying the evening breeze and talking with my cousins all about our future dreams of travel and adventure.

the sweet life

-Glimpsing a blue jay outside of the window.

-Playing a favorite CD and dancing along (curious? it's Sawdust by the Killers).

-Baking to reduce my anxiety about tomorrow's meeting with the Committee on Ministry. (Prayers, please! They're essentially deciding on whether or not to ordain me.) I made tasty nutella dark chocolate brownies. Cooking always relaxes me--I'm very grateful for this. I don't know how theologically sound it is (and I don't care)...chocolate has great powers to soothe and relax.

broken in, basil, best days and brogues

-Drinking coffee from my great-grandfather's favorite coffee cup. It is well-loved, and has apparently been with him on many a ranching adventure.

-Bright green tender leaves of basil from the garden ready to be chopped and added to my roasted vegetable couscous. They added such a sweet freshness to every bite.

-Overhearing a little boy tell his Mother, "this is the best day EVER!"

-Reading a book about women during the Troubles in Northern Ireland, and suddenly realizing that I was reading with a Northern Irish accent.

grace and peace to you

-Being given lots of encouraging letters and a lovely bracelet (with the words from "Amazing Grace" on it) by the kids from my small group. I had to leave early because my Grandfather passed away yesterday, and so they wanted to be sure and let me know that they cared for me. It was so kind. Teenagers have this great capacity to shock you with kindness in unexpected moments.

-Erin sending me off with a teary hug and the lovely little pocket piece we had admired in the bookstore. What a wonderful friend.

-The man who drove me to the airport in the shuttle from Montreat was so kind and gracious. I loved his soothing accent and constant smile. As we drove along, I thought of how often it is that a taxi/shuttle driver makes an impact on me.

preordained meetings

-The session of my home church approving the decision to call me as a mission worker (technically a "supply pastor") for my work in Northern Ireland. This means that, pending a couple of examinations, I will be able to be ordained before I leave in September! Wow! The way it all happened was also very much a "God thing": I was leading worship at Mo Ranch for their Youth Celebration a couple of weeks ago, and a member of my Presbytery's Committee on Ministry was there and heard me preach. We got to talking about my call situation and my position in Belfast, and he took it upon himself to contact all of the necessary parties at Presbytery to figure out how I might be ordained into this ministry. They even held a special meeting just to discuss my call process, and now it's all happening. I can't believe how it's all seemed to fall into place.

-Hearing my Nana describe seeing her great-granddaughter for the first time: "Her hair is so soft, it's like silk. And she's sooo good. Her eyes are blue, just like your Grandmother's, and your Mother's and Aubrey's. She's starting to get chubby too!"

-Finding a perfect stole for my niece's baptism (and most likely also for my ordination service).

mo(ntreat) grace

I'm in Montreat, North Carolina for two weeks helping with Youth Conferences and catching up with great seminary friends.

-The view from my window. The mountains, lake, trees and hills are gorgeous. I also love the windows open, letting cool-from-a-fresh-rain-air inside.

-Lovely pink zinnias adding spashes of color to our walk as Erin and I explore Black Mountain, NC.
-An old weathered wall with shadows from trees dancing on it.

-Seeing mountains in the distance. It just adds an outdoorsy and natural feel to the scenery.

open road

-A really great meeting that made me very excited about the future and grateful for God's call.

-Driving with my sister's dog, Hayden, next to me. It was so relaxing to drive on an open road with a bright blue sky overhead with a cute dog by my side.

-Hanging out with Ash and cooking her dinner and then watching a movie. It's so nice to spend some time together.

sharing beauty

-Having dinner with Karen and Rob and enjoying being together for the last time in a little while. I looked at all of their pictures of traveling through the Muir Woods and the Badlands and couldn't believe all of the beautiful things they had seen since we'd last been together. I hope that every time we catch up we have lots of stories and pictures of beauty to share.

-An intense Texas thunderstorm, complete with hail and lightning, that woke me up and then lulled me back to sleep.

-Getting a very thoughtful message from a friend that was encouraging and affirming, both of my sense of call and of who I want to be.

more mo ments

I've been at Mo Ranch leading worship for their Youth Celebration and then catching up with friends, and have had so many meaningful moments. I'll share a few.

-The light is just somehow different at Mo. It reflects off of the water and makes everything greener, hazier and softer.

-Seeing good old friends and making new friendships that will last for a long time.

-Connecting with the kids and having them confide in me, laugh with me, cry with me and pray with me.

-Peach-hued flowers that grow along rocks in spiraling spurts of color.

-Leading worship at the Chapel on the Hill, one of the holiest of places for me. I felt called to preach a very prophetic sermon, and when it was over, had never felt the Spirit guiding me as strong as in that moment. Words fail to convey the power of that experience.

-Canoeing down to the rapids at night and sitting in the swirling waters while laughing and telling stories. We were then silenced with awe as we stared at the explosion of stars overhead just in time to see the brightest shooting star I've ever seen (comet-like) gracefully dance across the sky.

-Driving through Texas wine country with my friend Katy and enjoying deep theological discussion and little stops for a sip of wine here and there.

-Stopping at a roadside stand for fresh peaches, and having the farmer drive up on his tractor. He let us sample a peach first, and the sweet fruit was juicy and made you smile as you ate it. I brought some to Ash and Clay and baked them a tasty peach cobbler with them.

-Meeting up with Karen and Rob to catch up. So far, we've met up in three states in the last month and a half or so, and it was so nice to walk in and receive really heartfelt hugs.

mo grace

I'm now at Mo Ranch to lead worship for Youth Celebration. I'll post as often as I can!

-Driving by rocky hills and tree-laden rivers, with sun, cloud and blue sky reflected. The Texas hillcountry is a holy place.

-Seeing a group of campers and feeling brave enough to go up to them and say hello and tell them that I was once a camp counselor at Mo Ranch. It turned out, one of them was Erin, a wonderful child from my home church, who was healthy and joyful. Another was a former camper of mine, who is now a counselor-in-training! What a blessing I stumbled upon.

-Walking familiar paths and feeling like I've never left. Every step I take here is rich with memories and stories.

storytelling

-Discovering my old journal from my first couple of months in Belfast. It made all of those memories come alive again, and stirred in me a fresh awareness of the journey back I'm soon to embark upon. Do you know that in almost every entry I talked about how sure I was that I was called to be there? I'm praying for that same clarity and trust again. I'll share a favorite excerpt.

{September 10, 2004}


"For tea (dinner) tonight, I went to the Blake's from Fitzroy. It was probably the most delightful meal I've had yet--and I'm invited every Friday! We chatted with Chris and their housekeeper from South Africa while the aroma of garlic and tomatoes filled the air and my first real Irish rain pelted the clear ceiling. While drinking the tea I'd longed for all day, I thought this was one of those moments I'd really remember."

-Making a quick trip to pick up my sister's dog Hayden and getting to see my lovely niece Natalie. Her eyes are so bright and full of hope and depth.

-Hearing a thump against my door and seeing Hayden shyly poke his nose in at me.

life's a beach

-Lovely long sips of cool chardonnay on the hot beach. My Dad bought some vino for the occasion (aptly named, you might notice) and, with white cheddar cheese and cracked pepper crackers, it was perfection.

-Swimming in the ocean, letting waves carry me and jumping over them so I wouldn't get knocked over. The bigger the wave, the higher I jumped, as I laughed and swam my way through the warm, swirling, foamy, green waters. Kinda like life, isn't it? The bigger the "wave", the higher we have to jump over it, all the while keeping moving and laughing and enjoying the view.

-That feeling of tired-muscle exhaustion and deep-soul contentment that only comes after a day at the beach.

all things Irish (tea, rain, flowers)

-That first sip of tea in the morning. (Coffee's great too, but this morning I craved my tea from Northern Ireland, mellowed with milk and sweetened with sugar.)

-Talking with my sister on the phone and seeing a sudden heavy downpour outside. Sure it was a sprinkler, I rushed out to the backyard in time to witness on of those unpredictable Texas rainstorms. It all happened so quickly that the sun didn't even have time to go away.

-Mom coming home from the grocery store with lovely bells of Ireland for me. They're gorgeous and whimsical, twirling upward with bright green folded leaves and tiny white blossoms nestled inside.

natural inclinations

-A day without any makeup. I usually wear at least a little, and it was liberating and relaxing to go without.

-Catching up with a great friend.

-A book I can't out down. (Curious? It's Someone Knows My Name...a powerful and important story. I recommend it.)

come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away

-Watching butterflies dance and perch on the butterfly bush at the nursery. We bought one of the plants, so I'm hoping it attracts them as much at home.

-An icy cool blackberry smoothie on a very hot summer day.


-Watching The Holiday and dreaming of living halfway around the world, and then realizing that, come September, I will be.

all you need is love (and dandelions)

It's been so long! I was at a friend's wedding in Minnesota. I'm back now. :)

-A weekend of celebrating love: my parent's 35th anniversary was Sunday and we celebrated by getting them a park-style bench for their backyard, complete with an engraved plaque. We had to celebrate early because my parents, sister, brother-in-law and I were all at weddings on Saturday. -Going to Minnesota to see my friends Sarah and Chris get married. It was not only a time to celebrate them, but also a time for all of us to be together again and laugh at corny jokes, perpetually give each other a hard time, reminisce and play. Being in the same place (state, even) was comforting and grounding.

-My flight left late Sunday afternoon, which gave me time to hang out with Karen, Rob and their friend Megan some more. We went to the Minneapolis Sculpture Gardens, had a yummy rooftop brunch and coffee. Some of the sculptures were interactive, and felt like a glorified playground.



-Having dandelion wars in the park. Big, fluffy, feathery dandelions were everywhere and Rob decided to grab a handful and smack them on my head. I didn't even realize it until it looked like a chicken had exploded behind me. We had so much fun.

a woman's right to shoes

-Seeing Barack Obama become the first African American Presidential Candidate, and hearing that awareness, struggle and passion in his voice as he announced it. It was also inspiring to have Hillary Clinton get the most popular votes in history. Times are changing.

-Getting a great pair of new shoes for a wedding I'm going to this weekend. I saw them in the store, loved them and held my breath as I turned them over to see the price...40 % off! They'll make great dancing shoes.

-Sitting outside on a bench in the shade and reading.

wise stumbles

(Sorry it's been so long! My sister and niece were in town, and I was happily distracted.)

-My niece looking at me with such a soulful look, I swear she's got a ton of wisdom tucked in that adorable head of hers. I can't wait to see it bit by bit.

-A great long chat with a good friend.

-Stumbling upon a fantastic movie: The Girl in the Cafe. I'd never heard of it, but was drawn by the Damien Rice song playing at the beginning of it. What I expected to be lightly romantic was romantic in its own way, but also thought provoking and inspiring.

dreams, spurts and drips

-A dream featuring a lot of the friends with whom I worked in Belfast. I woke up feeling like we'd just had a reunion. Dreams are fascinating.

-Working on sermons for Mo Ranch and having an idea hit me and translate into a sermon really quickly. I tend to work in spurts of inspiration.

-Water dancing off of a purple plant outside as the faucet dripped shining water onto it.

classy concoctions

-Delicious and lovely pink cosmopolitans. We were making a "test sample" so that when my Mom, sister and I go see the Sex & the City movie, we can celebrate in style. They were fantastic, and I was pretty proud of my lime rind curls.

-Glimpsing a rainbow in the neighbor's water sprinkler outside.

-Going antique hunting and finding a great retro bag. I really liked the black classy look of it, and then realized that it's reversible! I love the mod fabric even more.

open sesame

-A morning rain that cooled everything off and fogged up all the windows. The yard instantly looked brighter and greener.

-Making key lime pie with my Mom, and sharing deep-can't-breathe-laughter at my inability to use a can opener because I'm a lefty. Also, the smell of almonds in the homemade graham cracker crust and tangy key lime in the filling wasn't bad either.

-Working on four sermons at once (yikes!) and feeling inspired in my note-taking (especially by the patterns of light dancing from behind the trees into the window and onto my hands as I typed). It's a good start.

roots

-Delicious tacos (and taquitos and tortillas...) and pinto beans. Oh, how I've missed such great homemade Mexican food.

-My little clover that kept opening and closing made the trek to Texas, and has now developed quite an an intricate root structure. I think it will bring me luck (and the hope of a new opening every morning) for a long time.

-A lazy morning (Sundays haven't been lazy for me in years!) spent cooking breakfast in my pajamas and taking time to enjoy it. I'll be at church next Sunday I'm sure, but having one Sunday "off duty" was wonderful...and holy in its own way.

old and new

-Seeing Indiana Jones in the theater for the first time. I love the other movies, but had never seen them on the big screen. The new Indy flick was every bit as campy and adventurous as the old ones...I loved it.

-Enjoying coffee and great conversation curled up on the comfy couch.

-Finally finding a new blog design I love. Isn't it great?

the success of a good day.

-Road-tripping with my Mom to visit Grandparents, and having a really fun time. It's amazing how someone telling you "that was a fun day" can actually make it so.

-Successful chopstick eating again! Woohoo! I rejoice in the victory of big pieces of broccoli, thin slivers of carrot and fragile clumps of rice reaching my mouth successfully.

-Golden rays of sunlight peeking out in straight darts behind fluffy white clouds.

home base

(Playing catch-up...)
-One last stroll around campus, enjoying the trees, benches and gothic buildings one more time.

-A wonderful cartoon made for me by a member of the church to thank me for my service. He was a famous cartoonist for the New York Times and more recently taught art at universities. It was so kind.

-Reading all the cards that the youth gave me and realizing how much God did with my time there.

-An amazing road trip: we made it from Georgia to Texas in one day! I knew it could be done, but was thrilled to be home right as it got dark.

-Seeing Texas plains again, complete with a bright orange sun peeking out from behind rows and rows of oak trees.

-Getting a call on my first day back in Texas to help out at Mo Ranch as a worship leader. Mo's just about my favorite place ever.

-Organic farm-fresh eggs that come in all shades of brown and white.

-A blue jay giving me a jaunty little smile (can birds smile?) outside the window.

we move along

-Melissa giving me a backpack guitar case (aka "gig bag") that I can use to take my guitar to Ireland and hopefully busk around a bit. It was such a thoughtful and practical gift.

-I graduated from seminary today. Wow. Laura handing me my diploma with tears in her eyes and a whispered "I'm so glad I was here when you were here" was overwhelming...as were the supportive friends and family who shared it all with me.

-An afternoon with great friends and family laughing in the sunshine.

-Sitting on my floor with my family and Erin and eating handfuls of bread, smoked mozzarella and tomtatoes and wine. After I received incredibly thoughtful gifts, we summoned our last energy and moved most of my furniture (while singing the Chariots of Fire theme song and laughing histerically).

the end of an era

-Enjoying my last Sex & the City gathering. I've had friends come over for wine, cheese, laughter and tv every Tuesday for three years. Twelve came last night, and we stayed extra long, enjoying the last bit of time together. Over the year, we randomly watched episodes (on dvd) sometimes watching 2 a night and sometimes 3 (and even skipping season 3). On our last night we ended up having the last 2 episodes of the series left--a fitting ending.

-Maggie coming before everyone got here and catching me in a packing-cleaning fluster. She immediately pitched in and helped by washing my dishes. It was so selfless and thoughful.

-The detail and beauty of a sunflower. (You know how much I love photographing flowers!)

let's get a move on

-Dreaming of my niece laughing.

-Going for a late breakfast with Jessi at Crescent Moon and having the most delicious coffee ever (along with equally delicious cream cheese scrambled eggs and a bagel). I took a sip, savored it, and said aloud "wow, that's good."

-The smell of cardboard. There's something in it that just whispers "move." I'm in the arduous process of planning to move very soon, but somehow find joy in a task which produces such visible and immediate results (as opposed to ministry, for example).

play & rest

So sorry for not posting in a while! I've glimpsed lots of grace in the past few days, mostly completing my seminary work, helping the kids at church get confirmed and enjoying a lovely, relaxing weekend at the lakehouse with friends. -Playing on the church playground with the youth on my last Sunday night with them. It was such a carefree way to say goodbye, and their prayers for me at the end had me teary.

-Light dancing through the trees onto my wall.

-A well-earned night of relaxation (complete with a glass of wine, cheese, bread and Masterpiece Theatre) after a ten-hour work day.

nonsense and sensibility

-A very encouraging word coming to me from a professor I really respect.

-Candelight dancing on my books, casting shadows and designs, and filling the gold lettering with light. (A Nonsense Anthology is a book I came across at an antique store. It's from 1902, full of whimsy, and includes such amusing poetry as "A Love Song by a Lunatic" and "There Was a Monkey.")

-Lots of friend time.

landing on something

-One of the youth saying that "believing in God is important so that when you fall, really hard, you land on something." Wow. I never hear anything that profound in seminary.

-While driving back to campus with my windows down and the radio blaring, I decided I wasn't ready to stop driving. The song was really good, so I just kept driving, being guided by familiar paths, and ended up at my favorite coffee shop. I went in (because I seemed to be on some internal Auto-pilot) and ordered a coffee and then saw that there were about 10 musicians hanging out and having a jam session. I stayed with my coffee and sat as they sang about Georgia mornings, cats and love. I soaked it all in, and felt really alive. I felt a little like I did sitting in a trattoria in Italy, just being in the moment. I realized God led me to that moment so She could fill me up. It's amazing how God can use 30 minutes of an ordinary day to make life extraordinary.

-Playing guitar outside, singing old camp praise songs, and chatting to friends as they passed by.

memorable meanderings

-Playing guitar and singing The Summons song with the confirmation kids and their mentors. It was such a real moment.

-A fantastically fun afternoon with great friends all together to celebrate Sarah's upcoming wedding.

-Walking to get my takeout Thai food at the place that knows me by name (for perhaps the last time), and hearing live music, people's laughter and chatter. When you realize that the walk that is so familiar will be far away in a couple of weeks, it makes you cherish it.

(by the way: my clover's still opening every morning!) :)

sweet rewards

-World Christianity class was really different today. We listened to Latin American (or Aviayala) music to better understand the cultures and faith there, and it was both inspiring and humorous.

-After a fun lunch with friends, we all hibernated in the library for the afternoon. By dinnertime, I had most of my work done!

-Craving some ice cream, and finding a tiny tub of it in the grocery store. I don't really have a freezer, so I have to get as much as I can eat in one sitting. A tiny tub is perfect.