I am still with you.

My Nana passed away this morning. I awoke in the night (right around the time she passed away) and just knew. I know that she is so happy to be with my Papaw, and am grateful for her amazing 88 years of life. I'm also grateful that I brought her communion on Saturday with my parents. What a gift that time was. I had read a portion of Psalm 139 that day that is so appropriate today too:

"In your book were written

all the days that were formed for me,

when none of them as yet existed.

How weighty to me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

I try to count them—they are more than the sand;

I come to the end—I am still with you. "

inspi(red)

-My friends Karen and Rob saying that they think their month-old baby Grace looks like she might be a redhead. Rob's mother was a redhead. I think that would be just wonderful.

-Stirring, centering, accessible words found on www.d365.org. My friend Greg shared the website with me, and I've used it daily throughout Advent and loved the wisdom, grace and peace found there (not to mention, the Celtic feel of the website and calming music).

-Having a wonderful conversation with a total stranger and remembering again why that childhood "don't talk to strangers" adage is something adults should never adhere to. Some of my most filling, encouraging conversations have been with strangers.

shine, scribe & soothe

-Lovely morning light shining through the kitchen window, adorning the cabinets with the shapes and colors of the glass bottles it filtered through.

-Being offered a position to work with visually impaired and differently abled students at the local college to help them with their exams and classes. The official job title is, amusingly, a "scribe" which I love (as a Bible nerd). I'm really looking forward to starting Monday with a mostly blind student to help her take 3 final exams. I'm enjoying my call search (honestly) but good discernment and Presbyterian process take time, and so this is a perfect little job for me in the meantime.

-Cold-fighting tools: kleenex, tea and a great dvd.

glad tidings and yummy finds

-A day of good news.

-Going to a lovely little cupcakery (isn't that a great word?) and cafe for lunch. I decided to be strong and avoid the sugary temptations and have fresh fruit instead, only to discover with glee that their fresh fruit came with a "healthy" dollop of their homemade cream cheese whipped frosting. Yum.

-The fragrant smell of fresh thyme and parsley as I chop them up to make herb butter.

it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

-The fun of decorating for Christmas. I love Christmas decorations...especially old ones with a history (the Noel on the mantle belonged to my Great-Grandmother Mimmie).

-A gloriously heavy, sudden downpour of rain. I love rain. I think Belfast made me appreciate rain more than ever (because if you don't learn to love it there, you just won't be very happy!).

-Being told that I have "inimitable style." I had to look up what inimitable meant, but once I figured it out, I was very flattered.

cute, cinnamon & chortle

-My sister putting this cute picture of me and my niece Natalie on her blog. She's so cute and curious. We had such a nice little time with them last weekend.

-A relaxing cup of rooibos tea swirled with a spoonful of decadent cinnamon honey (made by monks, no less!).

-A really good, hard laugh.

good things

-A delicious dinner of fluffy blueberry pancakes with our family's favorite thick syrup and salty ham. It was the perfect thing for the slightly chilly weather outside (and for my slight cold).

-An email from friends in Oregon letting me know that they had tea in a pot I had once given them this morning, and even stirred it with a spoon they picked up at St. George's Market in Belfast when they came to visit me. It's a wonderful thing to feel connected with such great friends in that wee way.

-Realizing (not for the first time) that I am, in fact, much like my Mother in terms of our culinary preoccupations and kitchen joys (we like to cook and eat the same things). This is a good thing.

glen flora

On the way back from Houston, we stopped at the charming little village of Glen Flora. I had never even heard of it, but with its quirky antique stores, old remnants of buildings and impressive tree farm, it was well worth the quick visit. What a quaint, grace-ful place (with glorious blue skies).

(This is a picture from their tree farm website.)

(though I'm not sure I'd like to buy "meats" from them...)

Now I'm curious about this little town, its history, who lived there and how it came to be a little out-of-the-way haven for antiques, trees and old buildings. Whatever its story, I was grateful for my little bit of time there.

eat, play, love

My sister was busy with a couple of big photo shoots (she's a rockstar), so the 'rents and I headed to Houston to watch my nieces. They were as adorable as ever.

Gianna really likes her grub. She gets that from Aunt Weeza, I think.

Natalie decided to read us a story, which involved her intently looking at her book saying gibberish while nodding her head and using the perfect inflection for reading by ending each "sentence" on a high note and looking up to be sure we were listening. It was so cute!

Then we went to the little playground and had a great time swinging in the sunshine.

Gianna was attempting to slide down on her own (brave lil one!) and Natalie was attempting to climb up the slide backwards. It was fun. They loved the slide almost as much as the swings.

What a playful, lovely time.

light moments

-The absolute joy of leading a Celtic Advent service at First Pres, Bryan and seeing so many supportive, familiar faces. They were eager to hear about my experiences in Belfast and engaged really well with the service. My great friend Angelina was the liturgist and we had such great fun leading worship together. During the service, we all lit candles as a sign of our commitment to walk in the peaceful light of Christ this Advent season and when people hesitated coming forward for a moment, Angelina smiled and impulsively waved her hand to beckon people forward. Everyone giggled and flooded forward. I would've loved to get a picture of the candles on the Table at the end, but fortunately I was too busy getting hugs from nearly every person as they left, including Bob Leslie who baptized both me and Angelina in that church and who was a big part of my ordination service there. What a wonderful gift. I also incorporated one of my favorite traditions from Fitzroy in Belfast where I worked: everyone blessing and sending one another at the end. We used a portion of St. Patrick's breastplate and it was communal and moving. I was so filled up by the experience of worshipping with them that it took me a while to fall asleep last night.

-Meeting up with my awesome cousin Bonnie who's a student at A&M at my favorite old haunt, Sweet Eugene's (along with Angelina and her friend). I've only ever hung out with Bonnie at family gatherings and so to see her in her element was fabulous. We all had the best time telling jokes and stories and talking about our favorite books and movies.

-Angelina's colorful and international-feeling apartment, including the most delightful little Christmas tree. She was so gracious to put me up there for the night after the service.

-A blissful morning spent getting a great haircut, enjoying coffee and a good read at a quirky cafe and strolling around downtown Bryan that's vibrant with its old buildings and new personality.

what a difference a day makes

Good morning! I was going to post about the importance of World AIDS Day today, about our responsibility not just as followers of Christ, but as fellow human beings, to be a part of ending the pandemic that is AIDS. To be a part of hearing the stories of those affected by AIDS, in our own communities and around the world, to be a part of ending hateful stigmas, to be a part of making a difference for those 1,000 children who are infected with AIDS every single day. Who says one day can't make a difference? Christ was born on one ordinary day. I was going to say all of these things and more, and then my good friend Amy did it for me. So go pay her a visit this morning, and lets all be a part of making the most of this day and every day for those most vulnerable.

from Texas to Belfast to Philadelphia

-An early morning bike ride with my dad. As soon as we started, we realized how much the wind was going to make things more difficult and got more of a workout than was expected. The chilly wind was invigorating.

-Writing a letter to a friend. Remember those? They're so great.

-Watching a charming, witty movie chock full of stars (Katherine Hepburn, Jimmy Stewart and Cary Grant), The Philadelphia Story. It was very dialogue-heavy, but that trio pulled it off effortlessly.

change and the familiar

-Having several of my friends share this video via facebook and appreciating two things: 1) how interesting my friends are and 2) how profound the simple wisdom of this video is for this season.

-Saying good morning to Ted my coffee shop buddy at the sugar/cream counter and enjoying the company and conversation. I also appreciated the fact that, due to a very overzealous group of 10 mothers with their cute babies, the gentleman occupying my usual seat made an early exit and I was able to sit there and happily sermonate (with the vital aid of headphones). Can you tell I like a little routine in my caffeinating? :)

-A gorgeous sunset that whispers a change in the weather is on its way.

A Poem for Advent

“Amazing Peace” by Maya Angelou

Thunder rumbles in the mountain passes

And lightning rattles in the eaves of our houses.

Floodwaters await in our avenues.

Snow falls upon snow, falls upon snow

To avalanche over unprotected villages.

The sky slips low and gray and threatening.

We question ourselves.

What have we done to so affront nature?

We interrogate and worry God.

Are you there?

Are you there, really?

Does the covenant you made with us still hold?

Into this climate of fear and apprehension Christmas enters,

Streaming lights of joy, ringing bells of hope

And singing carols of forgiveness high up in the bright air.

The world is encouraged to come away from rancor,

Come the way of friendship.

It is the Glad Season

Thunder ebbs to silence and lightning sleeps quietly in the corner.

Floodwaters recede into memory.

Snow becomes a yielding cushion to aid us

As we make our way to higher ground.

Hope is born again in the faces of children.

It rides on the shoulders of our aged as they walk

Into their sunsets.

Hope spreads around the earth, brightening all things,

Even hate, which crouches breeding in dark corridors.

In our joy, we think we hear a whisper.

At first it is too soft.

Then only half heard.

We listen carefully as it gathers strength.

We hear a sweetness.

The word is Peace.

It is loud now.

Louder than the explosion of bombs.

We tremble at the sound.

We are thrilled by its presence.

It is what we have hungered for.

Not just the absence of war.

But true Peace.

A harmony of spirit, a comfort of courtesies.

Security for our beloveds and their beloved.

inherited inspiration

-Seeing that my niece Gianna has inherited her Aunt Weeza's love of food. Notice that she has a biscuit in each hand (and that she's so delighted about it!). As a child, I used to hide stashes of biscuits on the window sills at my Aunt Madelynn's house, just to be sure I had a good supply wherever I might be.

-Starting the morning with cinnamon rolls and my Grandmother's delicious sausage pinwheels. Oh, and coffee. Gallons of it. Bliss!

-Watching The Secret Life of Bees. It's one of the most powerful, inspiring and centering movies I've seen in the longest time.

giving thanks

It's been such a lovely Thanksgiving! There's not much I love more than cooking (& eating) a lot of food with family. I got to make roasted butternut squash and sweet potatoes, pancetta-garlic brussel sprouts and my favorite decadent dark chocolate tart. What fun. My nieces are precocious and precious as ever, the sun's been shining and now a cold front has brought a refreshing change to things, we all piled in and watched The Great Gatsby (in what I hope will be a new Thanksgiving tradition of a Robert Redford movie every year) and I had that tasty turkey and dressing twice now (with hot sauce of course). My sister took a lot of play-by-play pictures as we were cooking in the kitchen, so I'll post some of those soon. Looking forward to another morning of communal coffee time with energetic little girls and sleepy conversation among the adults. My family's great.

spicy, solidarity and skyping

-Helping my mom make her famous hot sauce. From rain sprinkling on me as I picked chili petines outside, to the smells of it coming together, to that first bite that made my eyes water from tasty spiciness, it was fabulous. Let's hope I can remember it well enough to make it on my own.

-Going to the grocery store today. I know, it sounds crazy, who would like to be in a grocery store right before Thanksgiving? Well, I suppose I would. I met a nice lady near the sweet potatoes and while waiting for pancetta I met another friendly person. I found people more chatty and warm than the normal grocery shopping experience. Maybe this is because of the anticipation of cooking delicious food for loved ones, and maybe it's just the solidarity of surviving the place together! People left the store tired and heavy-laden with bags, but with heads held a little higher at having accomplished it.

-Skyping with some wonderful folks in Belfast: Roberta, Katrina and Jonee. It was so lovely to hear a Northern Irish accent again, to catch up on all the news at the church I served there and to laugh at funny stories shared. I'm so thankful for the time I had in that wee place and for the friendships that continue. I also came across a great thought (through my good friend, the illustrious Chris Hunter) from David Bruce, the Executive Secretary of the Board of Mission in Ireland. He said something so powerful for his own context, and powerful for ours as well:

"The Presbyterian Church in Ireland needs to be known not for her Presbyterianism but for her wholehearted commitment to the Lord of the Gospel. We need to be people who demonstrate to this island, north and south that our confidence is in Christ, and that his people incorporates all nations, each tribe, every ethnicity, rich and poor, black and white, male and female, unionist and nationalist, loyalist and republican, immigrant and indigenous, slave and free, for if we are in Christ then like it or not, we are one. Let us move beyond the bawn. Let the walls fall. Let the mission begin."

community & cravings

-A passing of the peace during worship that was so enthusiastic that it lasted for several minutes as people flooded into the center aisle to greet each other. None of that perfunctory "How are you?" "I'm fine." business, but instead real community and conversations.

-Going to have Thanksgiving lunch with my Nana at her senior home and enjoying the hospitality of the place, the time together and (of course) the food.

-Conditioned cravings: My family and I almost always ate Chinese food after church when I was growing up and so I often crave it on Sundays. In Belfast, a large meal on Sunday (or any other day, really) was always followed by a cup of tea or coffee. So today, after my big Thanksgiving meal #1, I craved coffee Belfast-style. It was delicious.

splendid saturday

-Scrambled eggs with mushrooms, onions and parsley wrapped in corn tortillas for breakfast (with hot sauce, of course!). What a delicious, Texan start to the day.

-The way Fritz the dog immediately follows me the second I come outside, and the way Zulu the guinea fowl immediately follows Fritz. Such affection.

-Spending a lazy Saturday afternoon watching Avatar with my dad.

-Also, today is my dear friend Pierce's birthday. She's the most lovable steel magnolia you'll ever come across. Happy birthday!

all together now

-A hello hug from a friend.

-Moments during Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (pt 1) when a house elf was being particularly funny or situations were hilariously awkward and the entire room snickered in unison. In such an individualistic world, I really think that is community, if even just for a moment.

-Stars twinkling hopefully through dark trees, making me feel at once home and connected with other places far away that I also love.